I recently read a story in a new-age magazine urging people to be non-judgmental.

The Mind-Body-Spirit Magazine- March 2007

The example they gave was a family that received a phonecall from their son who was coming home from serving as a soldier in Iraq. He asked his parents if he could bring a friend home that had no legs and had no where to go. His parents said "no" and that they were not equipped to take on someone like that but would help him get the help that he needs. Well, lo and behold, the parents get called to the hospital and find their son dead with no legs...the message in this article was not to judge..as the parents had judged the man with no legs.

Well, if that story is in fact true-then the true message is about the sadness and pain that the son felt. He could not come to his parents and tell them the truth about himself because of shame and fear of rejection-

The issue is not with "judgement" but rather that children and parents still cannot communicate effectively. The judgment here came from birth between the parents and child and throughout his life he functioned on that frequency-the son knew his parents did not accept him-that's why he choose to lie and perceived that he could not be honest.

This word judgment gets thrown around negatively in new age circles, but often this word describes people who are afraid to feel-and lie to themselves about the way they really feel-and so desperately try to describe themselves as non-judgmental.

The object for psychological health should not be about never being judgmental-as we are human beings, and that would be quite impossible. But, the focus should instead be on awareness of what our judgments are are and why we have them.

Namaste