So you need a "doula" for your birth...well, what is a doula? A birth helper, a friend, a supporter, sometimes medical..sometimes natural...and at a price tag of up to $1,000....

I tell you what, I think it is a sad day when we have to pay someone to be our friend and support us in birth and that is essentially what a doula is.

But unfortunately, our Western society is so lost and confused in birth and parenting...it is also a necessity for someone who doesn't have a supportive circle of people. I had a midwife with my last two children and had them at home because my first child had been a hospital birth and had suffered immensely at the hands of the medical profession (he is the one I wrote my book about).

For my own births I protected myself by surrounding myself with people who would encourage me and pull me through the birth that I wanted for me and my baby. People who were powerful, strong and supportive of my decision to home birth and in the end, whether you birth at home or in a disease infested radioactive institution, that is what delivers your child and you anyway. I did not have my Mother and sisters there because they were birth haters and in truth, my own Mother did not even know what birth was, being that she was drugged with some amnesia inducing medicine called twilight when she birthed my sisters and I. I was told consistently that I couldn't do it, I wouldn't be able to, and why would I even want to. I even had my sister-in-law accusing me of putting my child in danger and cursing my birth by telling people in the family that my baby would die (without the intervention of the million dollar hospital torture machines and a doctor that relies on knives and poisonous drugs for birth).

It is my general consensus, that a doula can be a symptom of a woman who is afraid to ask for help from a friend..perhaps even suffering from severe distrust. A doula is a friend that you pay..but as you know, some things you just can't pay for-friendship, love, etc. So, if you are considering a doula, ask yourself if you are really afraid to reach out to a friend and ask for help. Do you find it humiliating to appear weak or needy in front of a friend-it may be a signal for you to look for new and better friends or for you to overcome your fear of being rejected.

Furthermore, don't forget about your husband. Your partner should be your birth coach, your best friend and strongest supporter. You would do well to both prepare for the birth together by taking the Bradley Method birth course and read the book together (my husband and I did). I am also a big believer of Dr. Michel Odent's Birthworks, if you can find anything by him on line or take his Birthworks course you will be in good hands, he is a pioneer of natural and bonded childbirth. Finally, my midwife Aviva Romm has written many books on natural childbirth-I still affectionately refer to her book and loan it out to my clients. In closing, remember, the emotional issues you hold on to, consciously or unconsiously, will be reflected in your newborn babies eyes and very soul. Start working on your ability to "open up" now before birth, it just may help you in labor and delivery. Recognize that the decisions you make for this birth will effect not only this baby's life but the lives and birthing for future generations..be the birth pioneer in your family!